It’s worth pointing out that it’s not just boredom or curiosity that are at the root of getting strangers to open up to you. There are actually situations when it’s important to get someone else to open up. This could be in a job or school interview where your resume or school record can only be a starting point.
Getting others to open up is also a useful tactic in establishing close relationships – talking to strangers can have other benefits. For all you know, a true connection will form, leading to a relationship that continues far beyond the moments of your brief interaction.
These 5 steps will help get you there:
1. Pay attention to any information the other person shares at the beginning.
Whether it’s their name, or where they’re from, the information may be somewhat generic and completely innocuous, but it can give you the basis for where you’re going next.
2. Establish a point of connection to continue the conversation.
If you’re both suffering from the same unpleasant condition (waiting in a long line), comment on your shared misery (“How does the site crash after we’ve waited half an hour?”). Leak a little information about yourself, but only a minimal amount to keep things going.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
As the saying goes, never judge a book by its cover. Once you’ve talked to them, you’ll realise that sometimes, people just aren’t what they seem at first glance.
4. Ask questions without seeming (or being) nosy and intrusive.
Using the data you have, start with general questions that you hope will lead to more specific information. Keep your questions to a comfortable number, and not make it seem like an interrogation.
5. Figure out when to back off.
At some point, the other person may wish to discontinue the conversation or just not answer a question to your satisfaction. If you find that the subject is running out of steam, it’s time to switch gears.
Once you get the hang of it, you’ll find many more opportunities to satisfy not only your sense of curiosity, but also make surprisingly enjoyable connections that might even change the course of your life.
