3D Again?

Campus Articles || Gan Phua Beng || 3D Again?

How do we perceive our lives? We tend to forget that our lives involve more than 3 dimensions. Temporal and spacial awareness are the obvious ones. Not to get all philosophical on you, but how much can you say that we are really here? In the famous words of some quack doctor, is that table really there? Or we do we just think it is there, therefore it is there.

To keep us glued to the idiot box and idiot screens, entertainment giants have developed the technology to add to our viewing experience by giving us an added dimension. The 3rd dimension. Back when I was younger, 3D only came in the form of books where you had a jumbly bunch of dots and colours. What you then had to do was stick your nose onto the page and slowly bring it away from you; the ones who “got it” claimed to see an image pop out of the page. I never got it, so I always said they were lying, got them to try again and when their face was stuck on the page, I would whack the book from the cover. That’s 3D for you.

From, “OOOOHHHH……AHHHHH”, to, “3D again?!”
3D everything is the way things seem to be headed, but GPB thinks it is just a passing phase. The only 3D movie GPB is looking forward to is “Sex and Zen”. This is a Hong Kong classic that DESERVES some 3D-ing. Think about it this way: what would you really like to see ‘pop’ out of the screen? It’s not some balloon, or an axe that is flying towards you. I am going to assume that you understand what I mean. If in the event that you don’t (or can’t), grab a copy of Sixteen, or whatever – that should suit you just right.

Why is 3D annoying? Because of the silly glasses you have to wear. How is GPB supposed to lean over and make out with Chong Ah Lian beside me and Lim Ah Huay on the other side with those stupid glasses on my face? GPB does not look hot in 3D glasses, so they have to go.

And another thing – how many people’s facial oil are already on those glasses? 300 million?! It feels really good when you go watch a movie, put on a pair of 3D glasses to know that you just smeared Ali’s oily facial excrement on your equally greasy face.

And another thing – 3D movies are too expensive! Non-3D: $10. 3D: $345!!! There goes the popcorn.

Campus Articles || Gan Phua Beng || 3D Again?