If you can’t beat them, eat them



By Amos Ang

When’s the best time to have an Italian snack? Well, according to Luis Suarez, that moment would be at the World Cup, in his country’s crucial group match, and preferably with hordes of cameras to capture the juicy moment. But he’s not the only footballer to suddenly have hunger pangs during a game, and definitely not the only athlete. We present to you, today’s menu.

Aperitif  – Tim Hague (MMA)

In what proved to be a bad day at the office for his opponent Joey Beltran, Not-so-tiny Tim decided mid-match he needed an energy boost, and since a Snickers bar wasn’t handy, Beltran’s knee would have to do. In doing so, Tim discovered a new talent – jaw expansion, as the picture below shows.

Tim Hague

 Appetiser – Tree Rollins (Basketball) 

On any given day, it would be safe to assume that provoking a guy named Tree would be considered a bad idea. Danny Ainge of the Atlanta Hawks didn’t so much not receive that memo but rather, saw it, popped it into his mouth for a few rigorous chews before swallowing. An action he may have regretted later on, if his hand had any say in the matter.

Entrée – Mike Tyson (Boxing)

Any menu for the bite connoisseur would be considered lacking without this tenderiser from the “Baddest Man on The Planet” on Evandar Holyfield. Fed up with what he perceived to be intentional headbutts that were going unpunished by the referee, Iron Mike proceeded to take matters into his own hands by taking out a chunk of his opponent’s right ear. To add insult to injury, Tyson, seemingly deeming the ear unpalatable, promptly spat it out. He was of course, disqualified.

 Dessert – Francisco Gallardo (Football)

Football is a team sport, as evident by the way goals are usually celebrated. Footballer Jose Antonio Reyes however, might have had second thoughts about scoring ever again after knowing how then teammate Franciso Gallardo showed celebratory affection. Apparently convinced that Reyes had hurt himself in the gentleman’s zone in the process of scoring the goal, Gallardo – every bit the concerned teammate, took it upon himself to give Reyes’s rod a quick nip to ensure it was still in tip-top condition.

On the house – The NHL

Ice hockey is a brutal, brutal sport, where rules are often merely seen as guidelines. So it should perhaps come as no surprise that there have been more than 10 documented biting cases, and that’s just the tip of the hockey stick. Should Suarez ever consider a career switch, the NHL is calling.