By Jethro Wegener
Scam letters are a dime a dozen, and one look you will know that it is a scam. While we laugh off their attempts to get us hooked, and to lead in to our upcoming issue’s theme, have you taken part in our “Scam Letter” competition yet? If not, here’s a sample letter that may get you started!
CONFIDENTIAL – TOP SECRET DOCUMENTATION
Dear Tresured Friend,
I hope this letter finds you well. No doubt the contents herein will surprise you, but it is of the utmost importance than you read it. The lives of members of my family depend on it.
Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Gen. Kwance Daniska, former head of security and operations for Babu Zinariya Mine in Nigeria. I’m sure you have heard of the terribly things that happened there recently?
If not, let me eleborate. On that day, which happened to be a Saturday of last year, a group of vicous pigmis raided our most profitable mine. While most managed to escape, many did not, and unfortunately my son was among those that did not. Fortunately, he fled into the jungle with a bag full of gold and has remained there ever since, in communication with me by his iPhone.
Since I am tied down with matters of the state, I am unable to go rescue my most beloved son from the jungle. I have, however, arranged for a crack mercenary team to fly into the jungle to get him out of this unfortunate mess, including the most famous warriors Arnot Schwartzenegger and the famous expendible, Mr. Stallone. All I require from you is $25,000, delivered by wire transfer, to the Royal Bank of Nigeria. If the mercenarys can rescue my son, a 25% portion of the gold he carries will be yours. The gold my son carries has been valued at $50,000,000, so I’m sure you can understand how this may benefit you.
Please, most dear friend of mine, I ask you to aid in the rescue of my son from these most terribly circumstances.
Yours most truthfully,
Gen. Kwance Daniska