If you think eating canned spam or maggots was gross, you ain’t seen nothing yet. From savoury meats to delectable desserts, nothing is sacred from the power of the cannery. Yes, the picture above is of a canned WHOLE CHICKEN – although why anyone would prefer this to fresh or frozen chicken is beyond us. Convenience food has certainly gone out of control.
Here are some more examples of canned foods gone mad:
Brains in a can
Eating pigs’ brains already sounds gross, so why anyone would anyone want to eat CANNED ones? But what makes this sound even more unpalatable is that it’s cooked in ‘milk gravy’. Double eww.
Tongue in cheek
OK if brains are too much, you can have your sheep’s tongue served to you in a can! A product of Australia, we’re pretty sure they look less gross coming from a can.
Something fishy
The Russian text on the can suggests that this delicacy may not be available here. Oh well. But who wants their fish maw from a can anyway, right? Or is it actually a croc’s mouth…?
Sealed in a can
Seals are adorable. And they definitely shouldn’t be on the menu, much less be reduced to curry in a can. We all love a bit of curry, but hold the seal…
Got Bacon?
Yep, bacon IN A CAN. And it even has the ‘smoke flavour’ added! One can has 50 slices of bacon, and it even has a 10-year shelf life!
I has Cheeseburgers
Taking laziness to a whole new level, you can now get cheeseburgers without going to your local fast food chain! Just open the can and out pops a rather soggy but edible cheeseburger! Yes, bread and pickles included.
Look ma, I made XMas dinner
The ultimate in laziness, this ‘Christmas Tinner’ actually mashes up everything you’d normally find on a Christmas dinner plate – turkey, potatoes, roasted veg, bacon, mince pies, and a whole lot more. Well, if it normally ends up in your belly as one whole item anyway, what difference does it make to SERVE it to you the same way, right?
Mole Crickets!
What makes mole crickets more palatable? Put them in brown curry! And now you have crickets in a can! Sure sounds more palatable than “Giant Bug Chilli Paste“, right?
Corn Smut – no it’s not that kind of dirty
It’s called corn smut, and it’s actually the black fungus that grows at the top of corns. And according to those who eat the stuff, it tastes like raven poop. To make it sexier, it’s being marketed as ‘corn truffle’.
AND THEN THERE ARE DESSERTS…
Who says canned stuff has to be savoury foods? Here are some of the weirdest sweet stuff we’ve seen canned.
Peanut Butter and Jelly!
If you’re too lazy to spread peanut butter and jam onto your bread, here’s a canned version! We have no idea how it’ll taste, but it sure doesn’t look too appetising.
Instant Pancake Flavoured Milkshake
Forget the Shake and Bake versions of pancakes, here’s an even easier way to get your pancake fix. Although we’re not sure how ‘pancake-flavoured’ milkshake tastes like without being cold or shaken…
Raisin hell
Fancy some cake? How about a cake in a can? The best part is that they keep longer than cakes you get at bakeries… Not that we can vouch for its taste.
Hungry? Why wait?
We’re not quite sure what is in the can – we presume it’s Snickers, but due to dubious translations, it sounds like it’s in ‘tomato sauce’. Which doesn’t seem right…
And finally, we have…
Pre-digested toast
If you really love French Toast, but can’t be bothered to chew the stuff, this can is specially for you. Just heat and serve!
