Local news was abuzz on Wednesday when local celebrity Jacelyn Tay – she was a Mediacorp artiste in the 90s before becoming an entrepreneur – posted a sex ed conversation with her son on Instagram. While talking about sex with her child is important, it was what she said to her son that got netizens collectively raising an eyebrow.
It’s also not the first time that Jacelyn shared details of conversations between her and her son. Last year, her son professed his unconditional lover for her, and back in 2020, she shared that her son wanted her to cane him even though he didn’t do anything wrong.
Let’s talk about (abstaining from) sex
Jacelyn’s latest post detailed her candid talk with her 10-year-old son, Zavier, on the topic of sex. As with her previous posts, she accompanied her post with a mother-and-son photo. What could go wrong?
She removed the post the same day, citing that “society isn’t ready to have a conversation about sex.” However, those who read her post were divided: while she did talk about the topic of sex, she didn’t cover the topic of safe sex and consent (and other helpful tips), but focused instead on keeping Zavier pure. Read the post here.
Zavier kicked off the conversation by casually asking his mom, “Does it really feel good when [the] penis goes into [the] vagina?”
She tells him that while it does feel good, he “shouldn’t be perverted” and that he should only feel good with the one he’s married to.
She dials this sin of sex up one notch by saying, “If you feel good with anyone for sexual pleasure, then there is something wrong with you.” She compares it to satisfying the body “wrongly” with drugs or junk food which is “full of chemicals that cause cravings to the brain.”
Warning of the dangers of wrong pleasures (aka casual sex) – “people who anyhow have sex with anyone are highly likely to get sexually transmitted diseases” – she tells Zavier that not only the body is “contaminated,” that his soul and spirit will contaminate as well.
She also admits that while looking at sexy ladies, that his penis might “stand,” and if he kisses or touches a girl he’s not married to, it “can potentially lead to sex.”
Zavier then deals the final blow: “What to do if my penis stands and I feel like having sex?”
A short “just control” was her answer, as she mulls telling him about masturbation, which she felt was also wrong. And she also wasn’t quite sure about the topic of oral sex among married couples.
She leaves us with a “revelation” in her dream: “A pure soul should not be aroused.”
She claims that abstinence doesn’t cause harm for the body for decades, and that we shouldn’t believe the world that “the body must release the sperms if aroused.”
If that was the case, she should probably stock up on cornflakes – did you know that they were developed primarily to stop children from masturbating? Turns out that Dr John Kellogg thought that sex of all kinds was “impure,” and he practised what he preached: he didn’t have sex with his wife at all, and had no children (unsurprisingly).
Kellogg wrote, “if illicit commerce of the sexes is a heinous sin, self-pollution is a crime doubly abominable.” He thought that plain and boring food would sexual desire, so maybe to curb Zavier’s urges, she could make bland meals.
Jacelyn and Kellogg would get along famously.
One thing’s for sure: poor Zavier’s just going to get teased at school. If he was thinking about enjoying sex before, he certainly won’t after this incident!
However, to Jacelyn’s credit, she also dishes out some good advice: “Do not believe you’re not macho if you’ve never had sex before,” and “Don’t join in those dirty talks about women’s bodies too. That is disrespect and dishonour.”
For this, we salute you.
Sex ed in schools
Being that Zavier is 10, he’ll be starting to take Sexuality Education classes at school, which is for kids from Primary 5 to JCs, and Millennia Institute. (Kids from other schools can just learn online, maybe?)
Zavier’s going to ace the classes, because according to their curriculum, it “promotes abstinence before marriage, and teaches facts about contraception, consequences of casual sex, prevention of diseases, and how to say ‘no’ to sexual advances.”
Jacelyn really prepared her son well.
Even though her post was deleted, what goes on the internet stays on the internet. Here’s what she wrote: