Your phone has an inbuilt accelerometer that helps your screen rotate, but did you know that little baby allows for a range of creative apps?
Stand back Twitter, Circlejerk has arrived – an app that tells your closest (soon to be distant) social circle exactly when and where you just fapped.
No you’re not shaking your phone in frustration. (Don’t ask.) This simple app awards highscores for shaking your phone like you’re spanking the monkey. Along the way you will be treated to jokes like “I’m such a good lover because I practise a lot on my own”. A master-ful app indeed.
3. Holy Water
Image belongs to J E Theriot
Is holy water carbonated? Shake your phone vigorously to see the holy water rise, along with jokes like “Jesus died for me so I’ll shake for him”. Developed by the same folks who made Fapfapp, they truly deserve doctorates in irony.
4. Handshake Tester
Ever wondered about the quality of your handshake? Let technology tell you. This app rates the strength of your handshake according to such scientific standards as “The Barbarian”, “The Politician”, “The Dead Fish” and “Clams Casino”.
Do you miss the good old days of polaroid photographs? This app lets you revive them (sorta). Snap a scene and shake your phone to watch your gray picture ‘develop’ into full colour like a polaroid. It even comes with a realistic printing sound effect.
6. Drake Shake
Grammy-award winning rapper Drake photobombs your most cherished memories with a shake of your wrist. Insert his handsome mug into your graduation photo, family portrait and more! Feeling insecure next to his chiseled good looks? You can even place his head over yours for a personal celebrity selfie.
7. Wake and Shake
Oversleepers, you’ve met your match. This alarm app’s Merciless Wake Up mode won’t shut off unless you shake your phone like it’s on fire, by which time you’ll be wide awake. Take your wake up achievements to new heights with 50 achievements for getting up early, and a multiplayer mode that lets you compete with friends to be the earliest bird. Get that worm!
8. Shake for help
In a personal attack, there may not be time to dial for help, but shaking is much easier. A hard shake to your smartphone alerts your emergency contacts to your danger and location. The app converts the smartphone into a safety device for women or tourists in foreign countries.
Networking means organising your contacts, and this app plans to make that as simple as a handshake. An electronic bracelet linked to the app records who you just shook hands with, maintaining an updated database of your networking contacts with minimal effort.
10. My Shake
Smartphones are useful devices, but many together can actually build an earthquake warning system. A US seismology lab wants to do this by first collecting earth tremor data through the smartphone network. With enough information, the app may one day give people a few seconds warning before an earthquake hits, saving lives.