Attack of the Washing Machines

Gone are the days when your washer ate just your left sock and the odd underwear or two – this time, they even eat humans.

Dangerous, and often hilarious, these case studies show you can’t be too careful around this common household appliance.

DO NOT INSERT HEAD

A handyman in China was looking for a blockage in his washing machine, so he stuck his head in and…got stuck. Twenty minutes of struggle showed it was useless, so he shouted for help. His neighbours tried to pull him out and even used soap, but his noggin was jammed tight. The fire department finally cut him out, after giving his head time to shrink from all the excitement (and embarrassment, probably). Coming shortly after a racist Chinese detergent ad, social media users joked that his wife might have actually tossed him in herself.

NOT A HIDING SPOT

An eleven-year-old panicked when she found herself stuck while playing hide-and-seek in the washing machine. To avoid trouble, her siblings tried to get her out in their own unique way, first by covering her with butter, then peanut butter (smooth, not crunchy) and finally with ice. None worked, so the fire department was finally called in to cut out a wet, cold and gooey little girl.

IMPROPER USE MAY DAMAGE WORK ETHIC

A 10-year-old tumbled face first into the washer while unloading the laundry. Although her fear soon changed to amusement at being “stuck like a pretzel”, her mother was just annoyed. This rescue operation was a new experience for police and firefighters who managed to get her out after taking apart the machine. And the lesson she learned? “I’m never helping my mom with laundry ever again.”

KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN

A couple in China were entertaining guests when they heard their son’s cry. The three-year-old had climbed into the washer after his toy and his leg had gotten stuck in the drum. Firefighters had to carefully cut open the machine and peel it apart before the boy could be lifted out, drum and all.

The lesson at the end of the day is – never stick your head, or foot where it doesn’t belong, unless you want to gain infamy through a Youtube spin cycle.

By Vincent Tan