Buying is Half the Battle


useless inventions

By Vincent Tan

Have you ever surfed the web and thought, “I want to laugh at useless products for fun, but it’s so difficult to find them?”

Well, sigh despondently no more because, for the first time ever, it’s easy! SCAM industries in cooperation with SCAM technologies has compiled an easy-to-use catalogue of just such useless products for your viewing enjoyment. For the low, low price of just $19.99, you too can access this coded url:

CODED URL – $19.99

Scroll through our boundless catalogues! Laugh out loud at the TV hat theatre (look like Donald Duck as a Sith Lord) or the tiny Shoe Umbrellas (protect your pumps with toe parasols.) The car exhaust grill will make you swear off smoked meat, while the DVD rewinder will leave you dumbfounded (did I miss something here?).

The vast variety of picture resolutions creates maximum comedic effect, and shot from multiple angles and colourful lettering with imaginative descriptions by international writers, you’re sure to have a blast!

Don’t have time to read through our text catalogues? No problem! For just $9.99, we’ll mail you the instructions for opening this private URL to our pure image catalogue:


There the same products are helpfully arranged in a simple grid, with a helpful top bar of common categories. Our premium search engine even allows you simplify your search along size, colour and time parameters, making your laugh out loud journey a blast!

And that’s not all! If you buy both packages now, you’ll receive a lifetime Society of Caring Altruistic Marketeers (SCAM) membership. As one of our members you’ll enjoy tons of exclusive content such as this URL:


Pictures may tell a thousand words, but a video says it all. You’ll be able to see the ridiculous inventions demonstrated before your eyes, like the Potty Putter (a loo hole-in-one anyone?), the motorized ice-cream cone (turning and licking will be a thing of the past!) and the USB friendly pet rock (It’s powered by imagination!).

For a truly once-in-a-lifetime experience you will not regret calling 995-4543 (IKID), that’s 995-4543 (IKID) to receive a product that will send that googol-watt smile right across your face!